Solemnity of the Anunciation

Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word."

. . .

It is the solemnity of the Anunciation. So I went to Mass, and the readings for today have come to me not through my own reading and reflection, but in the context of the liturgy, and a homily. Part of me thinks it's cheating to begin from someone else's comments on the readings, and yet it is impossible not to do so.

'What if Mary had said no?' The priest reported the question; he didn't pose it. In fact, he suggested that the speculation about what might have been rested on a mistake about who God is and how God acts. "God doesn't need a plan B." True enough. And after Mass, my husband had an exchange with the priest that was about Mary's will and whether or not it was possible to for her to say no. Turns out the answer to that one depends on how you define words like 'possible' and 'necessary', though in the end I think they agreed.

The thing is, though, that "no one is ever told what might have been." This is neither St Thomas Aquinas nor St Augustine, the two thinkers involved in the discussion about Mary's will. It's CS Lewis, in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Lucy has just asked Aslan a 'what if' question. His answer has stayed with me for years, as I have stumbled along trying, and often not trying hard enough, to be a Christian. However often and however badly I fail in my endeavor, 'what if' questions after the fact are never fruitful.

God doesn't need a plan B. In eternity, there is no 'might have been' but an everlasting 'is', in which everything is in the present tense. From that point of view, wisdom can be seen as arranging all things delightfully, as it says in Wisdom 8: 1. From that point of view, all the crash-and-burn experiences of my life find their way into the tapestry of 'all things'-- arranged delightfully, worked together for the good (Romans 8: 28), having been wrought, however incomprehensibly, in God (John 3: 21).

So the invitatory psalm (Ps 94 [95]) invites us each day anew to 'listen to his voice' and to 'harden not [our] hearts'. It is today that matters, today that affords me the opportunity to do God's will. That is, more or less, what Aslan says next: anyone can find out what will happen. Let my ears and my heart be open, and my will freely to conform itself to his: and let it be done to me according to His word.

St Vincent de Paul

O send out your light and your truth,
    let them lead me;
Let them bring me to your holy hill,
And to your dwelling places.
                                              Psalm 42 [43]: 3

This is one of a set of two psalms, which, with their refrain ("Hope in God, for again I shall praise him, the help of my countenance and my God" [NASB]) ,were the core of my spiritual life for a large part of my twenties. Despair often settled on me, and I found myself asking "Why are you downcast, O my soul, and why so disquieted within me?" along with the psalmist. "Disquieted" seemed like the perfect adjective to describe my soul a lot of the time. I was grateful for the psalmist's response to his own soul, and repeated it to mine: "Hope in God..." Honestly, this psalm and a handful of others kept me going when things seemed bleak.

During those years, I was too unsettled to see the direction of the psalm, beyond my soul's hope, to the hope of the whole world. The psalmist cries out, "O send out your light and your truth, let them lead me," and so he has. His Light and his Truth came to dwell among us in Jesus. And that holy hill, where God dwells, is also the mount of crucifixion. God is there, too, even as God was there--closer to me than my own soul--during the darkest and most difficult times. It was not for nothing that I encouraged my soul to "hope in God."

Twenty years ago, I was helped by the psalms; now I am also helped by the saints, those who have followed God's Light and Truth before me. Today we remember St Vincent de Paul, who devoted his life to helping the poor, and reminds us that "the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the poor with salvation,"and that God's Light and Truth became poor for our sake, that again we might praise him.

Deo gratias.